"SPONGEBOB GOES UNI IN REAL" fanfic script (part 1)

Starring: 

Bob  (aka Spongebob)

William - (aka Squidward) 

Patrick - (aka Patrick)

Scene 1 – On campus – Day – EXT

Bob, 18, is a blonde skinny guy with geeky hair and big blue eyes. He wears a white shirt with a red tie and brown pants. His shoes sound squeaky when he walks. He arrives on campus and starts walking with a smile on his face. He stops to stare the campus and then he takes a deep breath

BOB

Heeello university! Time to get some cool-inary skills! (he laughs while he keeps walking)

He greets every person he sees

BOB

Hey person eating an ice cream! Hey person reading a book! Hey person digging your nose! Hey person standing and then sitting and then looking at me!

He enters his accommodation house and stares at the place with awe

BOB

Wow! What a beautiful piece of architecture art. This floor! This ceiling! These stairs! This little piece of booger paper! This guy!

GUY

What’s your problem?

BOB (laughing while moving on)

Nice to meet you too, my friend!

He enters his room

BOB

Whoo, not bad not bad! Now let me see if this bed is cozy enough. (he sits and starts shaking faster and faster. He then jumps on it like crazy. Then WILLIAM enters and looks at Bob. William, 20, is skinny with black hair and brown eyes with big nose. He wears black clothes and he’s snub and miserable)

WILLIAM

Oh great. Another lun in my life. (Bob looks at William and screams of happiness and jumps on him and hugs him)

BOB

Oh my God, you must be my roommate! We’re going to be the best friends in the best friend history! And I am your best friend Bob!

WILLIAM

Get off me! I’m William and I’m not going to be anyone’s best friend, ok?

BOB

Okay…best friend! (he winks and William gets angry) so what are you studying?

WILLIAM (with a cocky style)

As to inform you, little idiot, I’m an artist and I’m here to study Music and Performing Arts.

BOB

OH MY GOD! I also love music! (he starts singing a song awfully and annoyingly) I came here like a wrecking bawwwwllllll!!!

WILLIAM

Stop! Stop! And why are you here? To study the art of stupidness? (he starts snorting on his own joke while Bob looks at him, confused) nevermind!

BOB

I’m going to be the best cook you’ve ever seen!

WILLIAM

Oh I see, you’re one of them…

BOB

Who?? (he looks around)

WILLIAM

Them! I mean the lowest social layer. The McDonald's generation. Well, so long, scam. (he climbs up to his room)

BOB

Okay, see you later, Will! My worst best friend! (William slams his door and starts unpacking. He takes his drawings and his flute out and then Bob appears out of nowhere and sees his stuff)

WILLIAM

Bob!!! Get out of my room!

BOB

William, what’s that?

WILLIAM

What do you mean what’s that? It’s my love of my life, my flute.

BOB

Ohhhhhhh! A flute! A flute! A flute? What’s a flute? Is it candy? Let me taste it! Let me taste it!

WILLIAM

Get lost!!! (he kicks him out and Bob starts unpacking. He takes out some childish things like toys, pencils and also his clothes that all look the same with each other. Then he takes out a picture of a pineapple)

BOB

Oh my favourite picture of a pineapple! (then he takes out a little pineapple toy) and my favourite pineapple toy! (and then he takes out a real pineapple) oh and my favourite real pineapple!

Then he looks through his window and sees students walking

BOB

Oh my God, students have started gathering! Time to be social, Bob! That’s why I’ll wear my social tie. (he wears another red tie) I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! (while leaving)

Scene 2 – On campus – Day – EXT

Bob walks on blowing bubbles and everyone looks at him

BOB

Ahh they must think I’m so cool!

GUY

What a dork! (then he runs into Patrick. PATRICK, 19, is a chubby blonde guy with black eyes. He wears colourful clothes and he seems lost)

BOB

Patrick!!!

PATRICK

Hey Bob!

BOB

What are you doing here?

PATRICK

Where?

BOB

Here in my university!

PATRICK

Uh……….

BOB

Patrick! I’m studying here! Remember? To be a cook?

PATRICK

Hmmm…I cant remember why I’m here…oh wait! Is it because I’m hungry? No…

BOB

Are you here to study?

PATRICK

Yes! That’s it! I’m here to study! I’m starving to death so we’d better go study now!

BOB

Pat, studying means reading books and passing exams! Like in school but harder and with no stickers and colorful pens…

PATRICK

Ahhhh! Take me out of this nightmare!

BOB

Anyway, where are you staying?

PATRICK

Uhhhh…

BOB

Don’t you have a room?

PATRICK

Yes! I mean no. I mean maybe! What was your question? Hey a booger paper!

BOB

We’ll see what we’re going to do. Oh, I’ll show you my room later! You’re going to meet my new best friend too!

PATRICK (jealous)

I bet he’s not as good as me. He probably won’t borrow food or wear your clothes like I do!

BOB

Pat, let’s go to the Krabber’s cuz I’m so hungry! Plus I want to ask for a part-time job! (they start walking)

PATRICK

I brought some things with me too! Is there a beach here?

BOB

No? (Patrick throws his beach equipment away)

PATRICK

A mountain?

BOB

Nope. (Patrick throws his hiking shoes away and they hit someone)

PATRICK

Desert?

BOB

Nope! (Patrick takes a picture of a camel out of his pocket and dials the number written on the paper)

PATRICK

Nah, don’t bring her over. (sad)  

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